


Television Panem Style

by Plumetta



Series: Baby makes Three [5]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 15:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1310572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Plumetta/pseuds/Plumetta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haymitch and Effie discuss Post Hunger Games programming.  They disapprove of a show that scares their little Princess.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Television Panem Style

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own anything. Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and I do not own any variations of reality television represented her. No copryight infringement is intended.

Effie and Haymitch were watching television.

“This is the stupidest show in the world.” Haymitch said.

“No, it’s not. “It’s like we’re live in this family’s living room.

“Family of lunatics. These sisters have different boyfriends every season and how many different fathers do their kids have? Why are we watching them?

“Haymitch, it’s the number 1 rated show.

“So was The Hunger Games. I don’t want to see that either. All we ever watch is this nonsense, Panem Pop Star or Surviving The Elements. 

“Surviving The Elements is very good.” Effie said.

Eighteen idiots want to starve on a beach for a month, do contests and the winner gets a million dollars. Why don’t ever watch that funny show about the bar where everybody knows your name?

Effie laughed. “You don’t need to see a show about a bar.

They heard a blood curdling scream from their daughter’s bedroom. They were both flying upstairs.

Effie turned on the light and Haymitch picked up his four year old and started to rock her. 

“Shhh Shhh Mommy and Daddy are here. What’s wrong?

Hailey sniffled. “I had a bad dream.”

He kissed her on the forehead. “Daddy knows about bad dreams. What happened?

Hailey wiggled around to see her mother. “Mommy it was scary.

Effie sat in the rocking chair and Haymitch put Hailey on her mother’s lap.

“What did you dream? Effie asked.

“Daddy left me in the woods alone.”

“I would never do that.” Haymitch said.

“And the witch was going to eat me.

“”There’s no such thing as a witch.” Effie said.

“Except for your sister Ellie.” Haymitch mumbled. Effie glared and he said.

“That’s right Hailey. Witches aren’t real.

“Well, there was a witch. She lived in a gingerbread house and she wanted to fatten me up and put me in an oven.

“I think you had too many cookies at Uncle Peeta’s house. Effie said.

“Mommy, I only had three.”

Haymitch laughed. “You had three for dessert. How many did Uncle Peeta sneak you before dinner?

“Two but I’ve had more cookies than that and not had bad dreams.

“Okay Sweetheart tell us about the dream.”

“Well, in the dream Mommy told you to leave me in the woods because I ate too much. I heard you talking about it before you took me to the woods so I took bread from Uncle Peeta so I could find my way home.

“Find your way home? Effie asked.

“Yes, bread crumbs. Hailey continued Daddy told me to hide but he didn’t look for me he left me there.

Haymitch was horrified that he was the subject of his child’s nightmare. “Sweetheart this would never happen.

“I tried to follow the bread crumbs home but the Mockingjays ate them and I got lost and found the Gingerbread house. The witch locked me in a cage and told me she was going to cook me in the oven.

Effie held her tightly. “Honey, that is so scary but none of it is real. There are no witches, no one could live in a gingerbread house and most importantly Mommy and Daddy would never leave you in the woods. I can’t imagine what made you have a dream like that.

“It happened to Hansel and Gretel in Tales Before Panem.

Haymitch stared at Effie. “Tales Before Panem?

“It’s the number one children’s show. Effie said. “Ellie said her daughter loves it.

“Her daughter is ten and a psychotic little bit…. He looked at Hailey and changed it to . Little person 

“What’s psychotic Daddy? Hailey asked.

“It’s not a nice word. Effie said. Also you Daddy is using it wrong. Your cousin is not psychotic.

Haymitch was shaking his head. “The television is going in the garbage.

Effie sighed. “That’s extreme.

“Daddy, I like to see Panem Street. That’s how I learned my letters. I also like to watch Tiara Toddlers with Mommy.

“Do I even want to know? Haymitch asked.

Effie smiled. “Probably not but it doesn’t give her nightmares. Tales Before Panem is based on children’s stories recently found in the archives.

Haymitch shook his head in disbelief. “I tell her stories about princesses and cupcakes. You tell her stupid stories about girls that lost their glitter.

“She didn’t lose it Daddy. Her sister took it.” Hailey said seriously. “Stealing is bad.”

Haymitch ruffled her hair. “Okay, I’m not going to pick on the glitter story anymore. At least it teaches her something. I don’t want you watching Tales Before Panem anymore.

“Daddy, why can’t I see it if it’s on television in the kids time?

Haymitch looked to Effie for an answer and then went with.

“Because I said so.”

Effie frowned and Hailey looked confused.

“Daddy….why do you say so?

He was going to reprimand her but she was so damn polite. ‘Hailey, I’m your father I can make rules just because but…..the reason I say so is it gave you nightmares. You don’t like having nightmares do you?

Hailey shook her head seriously. “Now I know why you hate them.”

“So even though it’s on kids time, you’re a little too young. You can still watch Panem Street and even Tiara Toddlers but anything else ask Mommy or Daddy to watch with you.

Hailey smiled She didn’t mind spending more time with Mommy and Daddy. ‘Okay….that’s fair.”

He laughed. “I’m glad you approve of my parenting. Are you ready to go back to bed?

Hailey thought about it. “I need water and to be tucked in.

‘”Which job do I get? Haymitch asked.

“I’ll get the water. Effie said.

Haymitch scooped up his daughter and put her in bed. ‘I’d never leave you anywhere, especially the woods. You know that don’t you Sweetheart?

Yes Daddy. She kissed him on the cheek. “Do you dream about witches and ovens?

“No, but it’s just as scary.”


End file.
